Pointing The Finger Of Blame

Do you feel like you are not responsible for the life you lead? You just don't have the control of your life you know you should have? It is easy to point the finger of blame elsewhere?
These thoughts will hold you stuck in a life that won't serve you. These are harsh words but necessary ones. You need to decide right now that you will begin to take responsibility for those things around you in order that you can change them.

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I was talking to a client last night. We were talking about someone in her life who always pointed the finger of blame away from himself. He lost his job because he was confrontational at work. It was the other guy's fault. "He started it." It began there and just escalated to everything he spoke of. In fact nothing was his fault.
Another client I was working with took full responsibility for everything in his life. All the bad things that happened. He knew he made a lot of bad choices. He recognized that he needed to make changes in his life to change things in his life. However, he did need to reach that most important step and make those changes.
It is not enough to decide to aim the finger of blame at oneself, it is far more important to take that information and use it to make you strong and resolve to do something about it.

Here is how you can use the finger of blame to serve you

1. Do Not Fall In To Depression

Sometimes we take the blame on our shoulders and use it to make us depressed. If we do so blindly it can be detrimental. In our personal life we take the blame for a breakup. Let us not forget that there's the other person who also played a role. You need only take on your portion of the blame and decide how to use that information to make you a better person. In all cases taking blame means being responsible and not feeling badly about it. In fact the word responsible is a far more productive word to use as it doesn't have to come with guilt and other negative emotions.

2. What Changes Do You Need To Make?

Now that you recognize that you have responsibility for the way things are in your life, it's time to think about what changes do you need to make?
If you are not happy with something what can you do to improve it? How can you change your thought processes to make a difference? What lifestyle practices do you need to adopt?
When you have these ideas at least enough to begin move on to the next step.

3. Challenge Your Beliefs

Here is where you now know that you have to take responsibility for the things in your life that you want to change. You know that something isn't working in your life.
These changes may involve challenging Nonsensical Rules. This is a process that has you thinking about your current beliefs. Where did they come from. why do you live by these rules. Here's a video that can help you in this insightful process.

How To Recognize And Change Nonsensical Rules

4. Create A Plan

What plan can you create to implement your above thoughts to make those changes? What is the first step?
This may involve changing the way you think. Perhaps the actions you take. Getting help dealing with emotional issues to free you.
One must not discount emotions we have pent up inside of us. I have worked with many clients to help them remove emotional baggage they gathered from childhood. It frees my clients to live a much happier life.
Either way, no matter the issue at hand you must have a plan. Without a clearly defined plan, you don't have clearly defined action steps to follow. This is a crucial step and is the one often ignored. Write out a plan of action.

5. Check Progress And Regress

It is human nature to slip back to our old ways. It is easy. It's like slipping in to a pair of old comfortable shoes. It's familiar. You must have a method of reminding yourself that you are undergoing a life's transformation. Having a journal can really help you. Being able to look back and see the progress you've made reminds you that you are making progress. If you slip backwards you can see that and then take the necessary action to get back on track again.
Setting up triggers can help you. Here is a video that teaches you about triggers. In short triggers links a physical action with a mental process.

How To Set Triggers For Your Success

Taking responsibility for the things in your life is a big and necessary step. This gives you the power to change things in your life. If you are responsible for the things you did to get you where you are now, then you can be responsible for taking the actions necessary to change everything for the better. Point that finger of blame at yourself and realize that you are an amazingly powerful person and enjoy the rewards. I promise you the rewards are plentiful.